maybe i'm a hypocrite but this is sickening. i can't handle this and i feel like i have ruined everything. you told me i never act the way you are expecting. can't you see i'm putting on a show? i don't know how to act around you now. did you want me to show you how desperately i missed you? couldn't you see that i tried to pretend i was ok? i knew these things would eventually happen but not this soon and not in front of my face. i dont wanna know about it. i need comfort. i need your attention. it's no longer mine.

maybe if i had someone else who cared about me i could cope with this. a temporary replacement to save me from these lonely nights where i cant forget our past. i don't want to move on. i'm not ready but it's happening. so fast that i can't breathe.