every moment, each day, all night.
racing thoughts, pondering this equation.
i let myself give in to the selfishness, selflessness.
i wish he were nearsighted.
i wish i was stronger.

I wanted to stay,
but I know that's
not what you wanted.

I wanted to lay my head on your chest,
but I know that I'd just be in your way.

do you sing for me?
no, I could never be that girl.

(RIP J.D. Salinger)


It was that kind of a crazy afternoon, terrifically cold, and no sun out or anything, and you felt like you were disappearing every time you crossed a road. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 1

I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 10

If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 17

Boy, when you're dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 20

"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be." ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 22, spoken by the character Holden Caulfield

Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 26

pretending to fake it.
yeah i want so many things i don't let on.

you never stay.
just once i wish you would hold on to me.

spontaneous combustion.
overwhelming chaos.
clouded lungs.
there's not enough warmth.

the permanence of a scar,
the chill of your shadow,
like whispers in my ear.

desperation in my stride,
potential love in my eyes,
like your hand on my shoulder.

you keep your demons away,
but i'm drawing them closer,
like my toes curling under.

"the most important things are the hardest to say. they are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. but it's more than that, isn't it? the most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. and you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried when you were saying it. that's the worst, i think. when the secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear."

.stephen king.