once you said "you shouldn't hate an entire city because of one person." This infuriated me and i thought that you were being dramatic. but now i understand what you mean. I have been afraid to come home all this time. i thought that maybe i was just having so much fun in rva that i didnt want to come home. but every inch of this city reminds me of you. there isn't a place here that we don't share some memory. i am even a prisoner in my own home. my mother telling me she misses you, asking me have i spoken to you lately. it's all i need to trigger a waterfall of tears. its like no matter how much i think about it on my own, how much i feel like crying and letting it out, i can't. what it takes is someone else to ask me about you and then i can't hold back. i can't do anything here. all of my friends here are your friends- what can we talk about without your name coming up? how can i look at my mother without her giving me that concerned look on her face? tomorrow i will return back to rva- my shelter, my hiding place. somehow it helps me forget, it's the only place i am safe.